Once again I find myself on a flight back to LAX, as usual, I have mixed feelings. Don't get me wrong, most of the time I love LA, and I certainly miss my bed and my dearest pet Bentley the Thundercat- but it's 2 days before the fourth of July and I'm leaving Southeast Michigan aka the land of 1000 lakes. I can only imagine how fun it would be to stay there, take my families boats out onto the lake and watch fireworks like I did when I was a kid. However, the sad truth remains that this hasn't been my home for a while. I don't know anyone who still lives there and the few people who are left are married with children. There's nothing wrong with that by any means, it's just a very stark contrast to my everyday reality. This last vacation for my sister's wedding was a nice trip down memory lane- but it was also a very shocking reality check. THIS IS NOT MY WORLD ANYMORE. It's so easy to lose track of one's upbringing when you live in a fast paced city. I recalled so many days on the lake jetskiing with my brother, playing barbies in my basement, & jumping on our trampoline, but those days are long gone. I will say though, that the people in Southeast Michigan top the charts for hospitality, fuck the South- it's got nothing on my aunts and uncles. I even met a really cool guy within a week of being in town. [I know what you're thinking... “WHATTTTTTTTT? You always say dating is for the birds and ain't nobody got time for that!”] well.... maybe the men in Los Angeles have just left a bad taste in my mouth (metaphorically speaking you dirty birds.)
After this trip I had to force myself onto the plane- I really needed to remind myself – We live in a city that everyone in the WORLD wants to live in. We are the lucky ones. Even if it doesn't always feel that way. A few days into my trip I really had delusional visions of BUYING a house in Michigan (for what I pay in rent for my loft downtown, I truly could probably live in an extremely nice house house in Michigan), visions of where my life would be if I had stayed. It's so easy to let yourself go there... BUT, could I really go back? The answer is No... while I enjoyed my time in the motor city, the bars close abnormally early, taxis are non-existent, and everyone is already coupled up by the time they're 24- I also encountered quite a few judgmental comments and very few encouraging ones. Apparently my “lifestyle” is “wild” and people are “worried” about me. [insert straight face emoji here #killme].
But let's face it, the reason that people like us end up in cities like Los Angeles, Manhattan, London, Paris, etc- is because we want MORE. I truly envy my friends who have managed to get regular jobs in the cities that they were raised in, find a soulmate, and begin starting a family- & I'm NOT being sarcastic. I actually wonder what it's like to not have a weirdo-emotional-artistic brain that is constantly attention-seeking, constantly creating, constantly WANDERING. It's a gift and a curse in the most poetic sense of the phrase.
At the end of the day, I don't have the answers yet, I'll let you know when I do, but I can tell you that a friend gave me a metaphorical SLAP-IN-THE-FACE & reminded me that we have opportunities that are not granted to everyone, we have this incredible network called the city of angels. This city will build you up to literally watch you fall, but we endure, we survive, & we conquer, because there is no other place on the planet that embraces our weirdo artistic, self-serving, “wild” selves. This is why secret members only groups like 'Girls Night Out' exist- because people like us find our own network of friends and they literally turn into FAMILY- in a tricky sense of the word that our biological families will never actually understand. We seek companionship from those who truly understand what we are dealing with & sometimes that just doesn't come from the normal places. LA is a city full of outcasts; people who were to much for their hometown- & we come here seeking acceptance, validation, and success in careers that people in the rest of the world find to be “Selfish”.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I am here for you babes, even if you're not in my city. For all the outcasts, all the weirdos- I am with you, I honestly get it. No one thinks careers in the arts are real jobs until you're famous - & then all of a sudden people you met one time in kindergarten start coming out of the woodwork. So sit tight my lovelies, we will show them, one step at a time, the artists will prevail.