So. It's Valentine's Day. Huh. Where to start. I guess I can start by telling you that I decided to write this post because not once, or twice, but THREE times this week people have made comments along the lines of calling me the real life Carrie Bradshaw & I am not sure whether they were referring to my KILLER fashion sense, terrible money management skills, the fact that I share a pretty decent chunk of my life with the public on this blog, OR the fact that I have been a serial monogamist with extremely bad luck in love… Carrie was to emotional, to honest, and frankly, made a lot of bad relationship choices. So I guess I can see the parallel in more than one way. It got me thinking about dating in a big city, how impressed I was by the solid couples I do know that live in LA….because….like…HOW?….
So here goes… Valentine's Day…. Ugh.
Naturally, like most people, I have mixed feelings about this holiday- but my issues with Valentine's Day aren't based on the fact that I'm sad about being single, because I'm NOT. In fact, I'm stoked that I'm not stuck in some dead end relationship with someone like I have been so many years in the past. I am HAPPY that today I bought myself peonies from the farmers market, got my nails done, & am going out with friends that I ADORE later tonight. I don't have to pretend to like some thoughtless box of chocolate and teddy bear, or spend $100 on a dinner in a crowded restaurant where at least 17.5 cliche-as-fuck couples are bound to get engaged... because like really…. WHAT THE FUCK DO I NEED A TEDDY BEAR FOR?? In fact, there was only one Valentine's Day I can recall in my past where the guy really knocked it out of the park & got me a gift with a lot of thought put in - & as it turns out it was only because he felt guilty about cheating on me.
Since then I have kind of sworn of relationships. I have dated here and there and there was this one thing with my "best friend" that went on for way to fucking long, but I decided a few years back that I don't want to waste 6 months to a year stuck in a relationship that isn't going anywhere only to end up hurt and hating the dating game more and more. I want the next relationship I am in to be the last one. Until then I will be my own damn Valentine.
I have stayed true to myself with that & for that, I am proud. For MANY years I was NEVER single and I was mostly miserable. These past few years have given me the space I needed to grow, to learn who I was, to travel the world, to pursue my passions & not just punch the clock as I've seen so many people do. So now, if I ever do meet someone that I would consider VALENTINE material I will know that they love me- for me, & not for the person I invented to impress them. And I hope for my sake, that unlike Carrie Bradshaw I'll end up with an Aiden, not a Big.
That said, Valentine's Day can still be tough on us single girls in the city. It's impossible to get a reservation at any decent restaurants & it seems like all of a sudden everyone is in temporary relationships (which I'm sure will be over by the time Vegas pool season starts). But let's face it, the dating game in Los Angeles is fucking hard. Don't let anyone make you think that it is YOU, it's not. For one, we don't see the same people on a regular basis (at least I don't)- I'm an actress, the only people I see regularly are other female, ginger, twenty-somethings who I see at every audition I go to. Second, the grass-is-greener effect is in FULL FORCE in this city, I am guilty of it myself- why go out with a decent looking guy with a good job when you could possibly meet a male model with a trust fund tomorrow? (if this is your first time reading this blog- that was sarcasm). Thirdly- Traffic…. I may not be sure I like you enough to sit 45 minutes on the 405 just yet, you gotta EARN that.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE love & everything that comes with it, I just want that reach for the moon, over the fence, world series kinda thing…yah know?
So if you're single tonight, try to remind yourself of the reason why. You are single because you have not settled. You should be proud of that. Put some red lipstick on, grab a bottle of champagne, get your babes together & go out for drinks (preferably at a non-couple oriented place)… or stay in & watch movies, avoid the chaos while thanking your lucky stars that you don't have to ruin your diet with shitty chocolate from CVS, & remember that it's just one day out of the year. Given the choice I'd pick 364 good single-girl days & 1 day that I feel like crap for choosing to put myself first over 364 mediocre days & 1 love filled day every. single. time.
So cheers to you single ladies! I think we all know who is really winning here. Xx.