Just kidding, not really, but I got you attention so keep reading. I guess in a way this could be Part 2 of my "girl code" post but I felt this topic deserved a post all on it's own.
INTERNET BULLYING; say it 5 times fast & STOP FUCKING DOING IT.
Recently I've been hearing quite a few of my friends speak up about how other women have made negative comments to them via the internet. For example: A GORGEOUS friend of mine who is a popular entertainment reporter was featured on a popular instagram at a magazine launch party, while there was (of course) quite a few comments stating how pretty she was and how fun the event must have been- I couldn't help but notice that two WOMEN called her UGLY. Um....WHAT THE FUCK?! Immediately getting on the defense for my friend i clicked to see what these ladies looked like (which really shouldn't even matter, but hey, were all human) one was clearly just a bored housewife and the other a very young girl. Nonetheless I have been appalled recently by people just leaving hurtful comments or sending hurtful emails behind the anonymity of a computer & just going on with their day thinking there are no repercussions for their words!
NEWSFLASH: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is a LIE your parents told you to make you feel better. In fact I'd probably rather get hit over the head with a stick than have someone publicly bash my appearance....no, i DEFINITELY would.
OK so, let me give you a little back story into how this topic popped into my head this morning, bear with me.
I recently reconnected with an Ex-Boyfriend whom I hadn't seen nor spoken to (other than a quick "hey do you happen to still have that book i let you borrow" type of text) in almost 2 years. & by "reconnected" I mean- I texted him to see if I could park at his Father's beach house while I was in Del Mar for Opening Day at the race track (because parking passes were $40 and that sounded absurd to me) & he told me I was welcome to park on the street- OH & he happened to also be on his way to San Diego. I casually let him know that some friends and I were doing drinks in Pacific Beach after the races and he was welcome to join. To my surprise, he did. It was a very fun night, nothing other than copious amounts of beer, vodka, and obnoxious selfies happened. He slept on the couch of my friend's apartment.
I tell you this story because a few days after I got home from San Diego I made the mistake of checking my 'others' inbox on Facebook. Now, if you don't know what that is- it's basically where messages from people you have zero mutual friends or interests go, it's a blackhole where unwanted messages go to die. I don't even know why I went down that hole.
WELL, It appears that THAT NIGHT the night with the booze and the selfies, I received a message from a very grumpy person using a fake profile. Now, I know this profile is fake because it had a total of 2 friends, no statuses, one photo in which you can't see the sender's face, and frankly- I just don't believe that any straight man would make these comments.
OK here goes:
.......... insert waterfall crying emojis here.
While I'd like to think that my response was "adult" and "mature" what I was really thinking was: "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY THIS TO MY FACE, YOU'RE HIDING BEHIND A FAKE FACEBOOK PROFILE LIKE A TOTAL PSYCHO TROLL!!!!" *Screams into pillow*
Now, I know who this was- mainly because I'm smarter than your average bear and looked up the IP address of the sender- which at least gave me a city & I put some context clues together, but I won't call her out on the internet; in her defense she was probably just hurt that my ex met up with me in San Diego & sent her misplaced anger into the Facebook-isphere right at my face, however, I don't think that is an excuse for putting down another woman's looks and making her question her sexual appeal. That is simply where I draw the line.
I laughed it off, because, what else could I do? I won't change my pale skin- skin cancer runs in my family so I REFUSE to tan & my eyebrows are sorta my favorite part of my face, but I won't pretend that her words didn't sting, that I didn't call my closest girl friends seeking consolation, because I most certainly did. I can only imagine how horrible it would be to read something like that & NOT have anyone to call. This is why insecurity, eating disorders, and suicide rates are higher than ever.
Madeleine Albright said it best "There is a special place in Hell for women who don't support other women." & that is TRULY what it all comes down to ladies. We get so much shit from the media & from men about how OUR bodies should look. I have recently spoken to friends who were IN TEARS because someone left them an Instagram comment calling them to fat or to thin, to tan, to pale, cross-eyed, buck-toothed, you name it, it's been said to some of my friends who are truly some of the most beautiful creatures on the planet. Everyone is photoshopping their social media photos these days because they are TERRIFIED that someone will see what they REALLY look like and not approve. It's a genuine epidemic.
So next time you get on your phone or your computer and go to send a hurtful message or comment, please, DON'T- even if it's to a "celebrity" who has over 3000 comments on one photo, what your hurtful one is the one that they see and it ruins their entire day? Think about it.
I recently read an article that Shailene Woodley was interviewed in & she said that every day she looks at her body in the bath and says aloud "Wow, Thank you so much for hosting my mind and my heart"
WOW. How powerful is THAT?! Hows about we all start doing that instead.
Alright my lovelies, I know that this post was a little heavy today but I really felt the need to share what was laying heavy on my heart this afternoon.
Love you all. Xx.