The time I watched Mark Whalberg get slimed.

     It was Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in the waiting room waiting to be called in to audition for a new web series. After looking over my sides I glanced at my phone to see a text from my friend Lindsay that read "I have an extra ticket to the Kid's Choice Awards, can you get downtown in an hour"... I looked at the time.. 3:15... The actual answer was no- traffic between 3 and 8 in LA (even on a Saturday) is an absolute nightmare and I hadn't even been called in for my audition yet.

So naturally I responded, "Yes, see you in an hour".

Um, I was going to make it to the Kid's Choice Awards if I had to steal a helicopter to get there, DUH.

I don't know about you guys but I was a BIG Nickelodeon fan growing up, Rugrats, Spongbob, Doug... bring it on! Bring on the Slime, bring on Amanda Bynes EVERYTHING, Kenan & Kel, All That.... Seriously I could go on for an hour. Nickelodeon is half of the reason that I am in LA today auditioning for mostly comedic roles and making a damn fool of myself on a regular basis. I was NOT going to miss my chance to see some child stars get slimed, it was just not going to go down like that.

So after my audition was over I got in my car and floored it down the 101 South (ha, & by floored it I mean I went 2 miles an hour for an hour and fifteen minutes until a very frazzled version of myself made it down to USC campus). I was late, I was frustrated with traffic & I did not have nearly enough cash to pay for the price of event parking. Seriously, who are you people that think $20 is the going rate to park for 2 hours, FUCK YOU. LUCKILY a very nice woman who was checking parking passes for press & crew parking gave a me a free pass to park in that garage & totally won herself some good karma points for the day! Woo!

I made my way over to the red carpet area to meet Lindsey, I made it through the first couple check points just by saying I was a guest of a reporter with Intouch magazine but was stopped at the last one and had to wait for Linds to finish interviewing teen stars and bring over the physical ticket. Once we made it inside it was AMAZINGGGGGG- it basically looked like a nightclub in Ibiza but with way less drugs and way more children.



So here's a brief synopsis of what went down: Mark Whalberg hosted, Aloe Blacc performed which made my life to see him live (for free), Lindsay and I were full out singing along with all of the kids surrounding us & people probably thought we were crazy, Selena Gomez accepted her award and left right afterwards- but she looked amazing, Pharrell wore another big hat on the orange carpet & a spongebob onesie when he got slimed, Kel from Kenan & Kel showed up & it was awesome, Kristen Bell is the cutest thing that has ever lived, Frozen basically won for everything, they tried to compete with the Oscars epic celebrity selfie by attempting to set a world record for the most selfies taken in one place & Kevin Hart helped Mark Whalberg's children slime him,  pretty much everyone else got slimed too- including Kaley Cuoco, & I did not recognize half of the people nominated- basically I am getting really OLD.







I did however have a few questions about the nominees in some of these categories-- Kevin Hart winning for best comedian?? Really? Kevin Hart is funny as hell but WHO IN THE WORLD is letting their children watch his comedy?? Or does he do some kid friendly comedy that I am just blissfully unaware of? The Big Banf Theory??- again really?? That show openly talks about sex and partying... it might be ok for teenagers but not kids... I was very confused.

Overall it was a perfect day & made me feel like a kid again- the only thing missing was Amanda Bynes.

Court Dismissed- queue the dancing lobsters.