So the other night I stayed the night at a guy friend's house because I was to drunk to drive (sorry mom and dad)- and the next morning when we woke up we decided to go for brunch, only one problem- I slept at a dude's house & men are good at a lot of things, but keeping fancy lotions and potions in their bathroom isn't really one of them.
No one wants to go out in public when they're hungover and have morning breath, it's not a good look. I managed to pull it together because well... Mimosas, but later that day I tried to look up some tips and tricks on how to not look busted after staying the night at a guys house after a night of drinking and... Nothing. What the fuck world? Either I really didn't look that hard (which is entirely possible) or people are to ashamed to admit publicly that they spent the night with a guy and didn't really plan ahead.
Which brings me to step one.
Always plan ahead.
If you think there's even the slightest chance that you'll be having more than one glass of wine while out bring the following items:
* Concealer - I don't know any girls that would leave their apartments without their favorite lipstick so start getting in the habit of throwing a little tube of concealer in your purse too. You never know when it will save your ass from looking like an angry raccoon the morning after.
* Red Lipstick- I've probably said this in another blog because I did one about hangover tricks but I will reiterate- when you wear red lipstick everyone thinks you tried SOOO hard. It's like magic. Pop some on, and throw on your biggest shades and no one will know how dark your secrets really are.
* Mints, Gum, Mini Mouthwash, or those disposable tooth brush things. No one likes morning breath. Not even your mother could love you with that mouth.
* a Hair tie and some Bobby pins, chances are your curls have fallen and your hair looks like a sheep dog- throw it up, pin it back, make it work.
Now that you're looking sort-of regular, what the hell are you supposed to wear? Because Lord knows you're not about to go to Sunday brunch wearing your louboutins and a bandage dress... People might offer you money to sleep with you, just saying.
Well, for one, you should only be hanging out with men that's jeans can somewhat fit you if you need to belt them and pretend they are trendy boyfriend jeans... I mean, I'm pretty sure that's how they got the name right? (I'm half kidding about this... But really, that's what I did..)
Then hope that they have a bro tank or t-shirt that kinda sorta fits you & maybe wrap one of their flannels around your waist. Throw your loubs back on and just pretend that today is the day you wanted to try grunge chic. Voila, you're all set- or at least looking pretty enough to go have bottomless mimosas at the Hudson, because let's face it- everyone is to drunk to care what you look like anyway.